I've just been thinking today...
Most couples have a song... or something like that. Me and Tyler have a bunch of songs, and a couple of movies too lol.
We've been missing each other so much the last few weeks we're both trying to ignore it, but it's getting harder. Now that we've actually had some time TOGETHER it's getting harder to do the "across an ocean" thing. Nothing can stop us though. We're trying to make plans to see each other for next Christmas. He wants to bring his dad, Stephen, and his sister Rosie over to the USA, and I'd meet up with them in Las Vegas. They all want to see Vegas, and so do I, believe it or not I've never been. It'll cost a lot, but I'm looking for a job every day. Kind of annoying though, I keep getting really horribly ill and I can't do much. I think my Lupus is flaring up.
I have The Lupus Foundation of America and the Alliance for Lupus Research both added as 'friends' on Myspace. There's been more and more word about a new drug they're formulating. First new drug to treat lupus directly for more than 50 years. So that's pretty exciting.
I don't know who's seen The Land Before Time, but one of the songs from it really captured me lately, especially with everything Tyler's been going through. "If we hold on together, I know our dreams will never die. Dreams see us through to forever, where clouds roll by, for you and I." is one of my favorite lines. It's just such a beautiful song. I don't know why hardly anyone enjoys music from the 90s. It's what I grew up with! lol.
Out here in Mississippi, we're trying to look for a new place to live. This trailer has seen many better days. There isn't room for all of us here, and it's horribly overpriced. Not to mention how much it costs in gas just to go to town and get some groceries. We're about 15 miles away from the actual city of Hattiesburg.
Life has its adventures, but as long as I keep getting handed these adventures, I will keep living life.
I was burning a protection candle and an inner balance candle for Tyler the other day, and I have a candle for his mother, so I set up the candles with some things that represent him, such as pictures and a claw machine toy he won me (he won himself one too so we'd both have the same one) and a bottle of the cologne he uses. Just a couple other odds and ends, and I lit the candles and I was resting after all that, and I could've sworn I heard his mother telling me to light her candle, and I was thinking "I'll do it in just a minute, I wanna lay and relax for a minute" and she just about shouted "He's my son! Light my candle!" lol so I did.
Things have been interesting, so at least they're never boring around here.
Living life is the best way to be. Put on your helmet and your knee pads and just throw yourself out into the waves of life :)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Here I am again...
So it's been a long time since I blogged last... I wonder if anyone's noticed. Either way is fine with me.
So much has happened. I thought 2008 was an eventful year, but 2009 surpassed it, and it isn't even over yet... So what happened this year? Well, no year will ever be better than last year, because that's the year I met my Soulmate. He's there in the picture with me... yeah, Tyler flew over from England to visit me in September... but before that..
In May, I tried to fly to England to see HIM, and I was denied entry to the country, and deported... now after everything that happened with my aunt Jody, I wasn't about to go back to her house, and be told there were reasons I didn't get into England, that Tyler was bad news anyway and the universe was trying to protect me from him. I didn't wanna hear any of it.
So when I got to Washington DC, which was where I landed in America after I was forced to leave London, I called my mother, and she got me a ticket to Salt Lake City from there.
Once I got back to Salt Lake, I got my old job at the Megaplex back, and things were going alright, then I had to move back into my mother's apartment, and I've noticed, I get along with her so much better when I don't have to live with her, so things started going downhill again, but I knew things couldn't ever get as bad as they had previously been because I had Tyler in my life...
In July, the Harry Potter movie opened, and work was hectic. I had been having stomach pains for about 2 weeks and they were just getting worse, and I knew the Harry Potter weekend was going to be extremely busy and I didn't want to miss any work because I knew they needed me, so on Friday morning I went to my boss and asked if there was any way I could call and see if my doctor had an opening that afternoon and go to it so I could see what was wrong so I could be taking care of it and working through the weekend.
She got upset, but allowed it, so I went into the break room and called and they told me my doctor was out of the office that day, but they'd have the doctor on call call me back when he got a chance, so I told her that, and she told me to go clock out and watch a movie until they called back. This didn't really surprise me, as she's let people do this before. So I did, and got a call saying I couldn't get an appointment until Monday, and he told me to take the weekend off if I could and rest. I knew I couldn't because she really needed everyone there, so I just went and talked to her, asked if there was any way I could have the rest of Friday off and I'd work Saturday and Sunday, the busier days, and if not, I'd work the rest of Friday... I just thought I'd ask, and I would bring in a doctor's note after I saw him on Monday. He even said he'd give me one while I talked to him on the phone.
She got really upset and stressed out and said no, so I told her okay, I'd work the rest of Friday, and went back to work. That was that. Then about 20 minutes later she called me back to her office and I went in there and she told me "Thanks but no thanks. You can bring your shirt in tomorrow, and pick up your final check." I couldn't believe it. I actually got fired for being ill. After seeing my doctor on Monday, I found out the stomach pains were caused by a bleeding ulcer I'd gotten from taking ibuprofen, because the job was so physically demanding I was taking more of it than I usually do so I could keep going to work... So... I was jobless again.
I was trying to grin and bare it, and look for work, and I was doing alright, then things turned out with my cousin Kayla, her boyfriend (at the time) Lemanuel (nickname Skip, for some stupid reason), and her son Jabari all flying out to Salt Lake from Hattiesburg, and bringing my kitty Ebony with them.
They all stayed with me and Nancy for a while, and then Nancy's bishop told her she needed to get them out of there, so she did, and they went to my aunt Bonnie's house. Made me sad that she invited them out, then got rid of them as soon as someone told her to.. I'll go on about my feelings toward the church elsewhere... anyway...
A couple weeks after that, Tyler was with me. I'll never forget the moment I saw him in the airport when I picked him up. It was amazing, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. There were no words, I just saw him, and walked over to him, and we just stood there hugging for what seemed like at least 5 minutes, neither of us saying a word. It was perfect.
I did stay with him in the hotel, which seems wrong to a lot of people, but he and I don't have a sexual relationship, and that's what so many people don't understand. Our relationship is strictly emotional. One of my sisters tried to tell me "Yeah, you say that now, but it'll change." It's not going to, people can believe what they want.
I took him all over Salt Lake City, and we had an amazing couple of weeks. He saw mountains for the very first time in his life, and he took so many pictures of them, it was like watching a kid have his first Christmas haha. The last night we were together, our rings were finally finished at the jewelery store (they had to be sized), so we went to pick them up, and became officially engaged. (Yeah, he has an engagement ring too).
So after he flew back the next day, I knew I couldn't handle being around my mother that day, I was emotional enough (those of you who know her, know exactly what I mean) so I went to Bonnie's to hang out with Kayla. Now, while she and Lemanuel were staying with me and Nancy, I noticed I had to coach them through their relationship a lot, and I kept saying "I hope you two don't kill each other while I'm with Tyler"... so yeah, when I got there, I found that their relationship had been falling to shambles.
He kept lying to her, and hurting her, and having REALLY strange ways of showing he 'cared' about her. I spent the night there, and Nancy called the next day saying I'd better just stay there, because she was moving and I couldn't go with her. So I felt kind of homeless, except for the home Tyler is setting up for us in England... we decided that it'll actually save us money to live there in England for a few years, because he gets free rent, just has to pay utilities, and we can both work and save for a house in Seattle.
But that's a home I can't get to until we're married, which will take a long time to save up for, once I find a job anyway...
So... I was stuck at Bonnie's, and if you know Bonnie, she's not the most pleasant person... I mostly stayed downstairs. But Kayla talked to her mom, Jody, and Jody agreed to fly us back out there on October 14th. It was the tail end of September, so we'd have to figure out what to do until then, because Bonnie was telling Kayla she could only keep staying with her if she and Lemanuel got married. With how he'd been treating her she wasn't sure she wanted to marry him anymore and I didn't blame her. I didn't think it was right of Bonnie to try and force her into it.
Lemanuel just got worse and worse, then we found out our aunt Bambie would allow us to stay in her house until we left for Mississippi, so we left for Bambie's one day while Lemanuel was out with Bonnie's husband Blair. We just packed up and went.
We weren't even at Bambie's house for a day when we realized staying there wasn't going to be easy. There was no food (to this day we have no idea if Bambie even eats), so we were buying our own food, which was fine, then we found out Bambie was going to the grand canyon with her husband, his son, and leaving us in the house alone with these crazy people that were staying with her, and her alzheimers patient father in law.
I hate to complain, because I know it's a lot for someone to let you stay in their house for free. I appreciate it. But why did we keep ending up with the craziest of the crazies? Again, Jody came through, she got us a hotel room until the 14th. All through this, Lemanuel was trying to get back to Kayla, she told him if he really cared about her he'd let her have some space, but he got a bus ticket (That Bonnie and Blair paid for...) back to Hattiesburg because, as he said, he needed to be there for his family (Kayla and Jabari). By that time she was completely through with him, and she'd told him over and over that it was over between them, and if he wanted to be back in Mississippi too, then fine, just leave her alone.
Wow, my hands hurt from typing.... So yeah, on the 13th, I found out Tyler's mother was in the hospital, she'd strangled herself with a cord and stopped breathing... and on the 14th I had to fly back here worrying about him and his mom and hoping everything would be okay.
We got back here and things just got worse for Tyler's mother, she died a couple days later. Was horrible.
My birthday was the 22nd, and Tyler sent me a beautiful necklace with a pendant that means "soulmate" (he bought himself one exactly like it), and he sent me an artifical rose, because he knows I love roses and like our love, he said, it will never die. He also sent me a glass painting he did for me, and Stardust on dvd, because we watched it together and I told him I wanted it.. also he sent a box of English chocolates... and he's ruined me for American chocolate..
So I've been trying to help him through losing his mother, he keeps asking when the pain starts fading, so I keep trying to think back to losing my dad and I just can't remember... I also didn't have him when I lost my dad... so it's just so hard to say. I wish I could just BE there, but immigration has to be completely stupid...
Things have been such a roller coaster this year... the years just keep coming and going... I want to pause time and fix everything for everybody but I can't, and I don't know what to do..
Who knows what 2010 will have in store... all I know is it involves Aliens... I can't wait.
So much has happened. I thought 2008 was an eventful year, but 2009 surpassed it, and it isn't even over yet... So what happened this year? Well, no year will ever be better than last year, because that's the year I met my Soulmate. He's there in the picture with me... yeah, Tyler flew over from England to visit me in September... but before that..
In May, I tried to fly to England to see HIM, and I was denied entry to the country, and deported... now after everything that happened with my aunt Jody, I wasn't about to go back to her house, and be told there were reasons I didn't get into England, that Tyler was bad news anyway and the universe was trying to protect me from him. I didn't wanna hear any of it.
So when I got to Washington DC, which was where I landed in America after I was forced to leave London, I called my mother, and she got me a ticket to Salt Lake City from there.
Once I got back to Salt Lake, I got my old job at the Megaplex back, and things were going alright, then I had to move back into my mother's apartment, and I've noticed, I get along with her so much better when I don't have to live with her, so things started going downhill again, but I knew things couldn't ever get as bad as they had previously been because I had Tyler in my life...
In July, the Harry Potter movie opened, and work was hectic. I had been having stomach pains for about 2 weeks and they were just getting worse, and I knew the Harry Potter weekend was going to be extremely busy and I didn't want to miss any work because I knew they needed me, so on Friday morning I went to my boss and asked if there was any way I could call and see if my doctor had an opening that afternoon and go to it so I could see what was wrong so I could be taking care of it and working through the weekend.
She got upset, but allowed it, so I went into the break room and called and they told me my doctor was out of the office that day, but they'd have the doctor on call call me back when he got a chance, so I told her that, and she told me to go clock out and watch a movie until they called back. This didn't really surprise me, as she's let people do this before. So I did, and got a call saying I couldn't get an appointment until Monday, and he told me to take the weekend off if I could and rest. I knew I couldn't because she really needed everyone there, so I just went and talked to her, asked if there was any way I could have the rest of Friday off and I'd work Saturday and Sunday, the busier days, and if not, I'd work the rest of Friday... I just thought I'd ask, and I would bring in a doctor's note after I saw him on Monday. He even said he'd give me one while I talked to him on the phone.
She got really upset and stressed out and said no, so I told her okay, I'd work the rest of Friday, and went back to work. That was that. Then about 20 minutes later she called me back to her office and I went in there and she told me "Thanks but no thanks. You can bring your shirt in tomorrow, and pick up your final check." I couldn't believe it. I actually got fired for being ill. After seeing my doctor on Monday, I found out the stomach pains were caused by a bleeding ulcer I'd gotten from taking ibuprofen, because the job was so physically demanding I was taking more of it than I usually do so I could keep going to work... So... I was jobless again.
I was trying to grin and bare it, and look for work, and I was doing alright, then things turned out with my cousin Kayla, her boyfriend (at the time) Lemanuel (nickname Skip, for some stupid reason), and her son Jabari all flying out to Salt Lake from Hattiesburg, and bringing my kitty Ebony with them.
They all stayed with me and Nancy for a while, and then Nancy's bishop told her she needed to get them out of there, so she did, and they went to my aunt Bonnie's house. Made me sad that she invited them out, then got rid of them as soon as someone told her to.. I'll go on about my feelings toward the church elsewhere... anyway...
A couple weeks after that, Tyler was with me. I'll never forget the moment I saw him in the airport when I picked him up. It was amazing, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. There were no words, I just saw him, and walked over to him, and we just stood there hugging for what seemed like at least 5 minutes, neither of us saying a word. It was perfect.
I did stay with him in the hotel, which seems wrong to a lot of people, but he and I don't have a sexual relationship, and that's what so many people don't understand. Our relationship is strictly emotional. One of my sisters tried to tell me "Yeah, you say that now, but it'll change." It's not going to, people can believe what they want.
I took him all over Salt Lake City, and we had an amazing couple of weeks. He saw mountains for the very first time in his life, and he took so many pictures of them, it was like watching a kid have his first Christmas haha. The last night we were together, our rings were finally finished at the jewelery store (they had to be sized), so we went to pick them up, and became officially engaged. (Yeah, he has an engagement ring too).
So after he flew back the next day, I knew I couldn't handle being around my mother that day, I was emotional enough (those of you who know her, know exactly what I mean) so I went to Bonnie's to hang out with Kayla. Now, while she and Lemanuel were staying with me and Nancy, I noticed I had to coach them through their relationship a lot, and I kept saying "I hope you two don't kill each other while I'm with Tyler"... so yeah, when I got there, I found that their relationship had been falling to shambles.
He kept lying to her, and hurting her, and having REALLY strange ways of showing he 'cared' about her. I spent the night there, and Nancy called the next day saying I'd better just stay there, because she was moving and I couldn't go with her. So I felt kind of homeless, except for the home Tyler is setting up for us in England... we decided that it'll actually save us money to live there in England for a few years, because he gets free rent, just has to pay utilities, and we can both work and save for a house in Seattle.
But that's a home I can't get to until we're married, which will take a long time to save up for, once I find a job anyway...
So... I was stuck at Bonnie's, and if you know Bonnie, she's not the most pleasant person... I mostly stayed downstairs. But Kayla talked to her mom, Jody, and Jody agreed to fly us back out there on October 14th. It was the tail end of September, so we'd have to figure out what to do until then, because Bonnie was telling Kayla she could only keep staying with her if she and Lemanuel got married. With how he'd been treating her she wasn't sure she wanted to marry him anymore and I didn't blame her. I didn't think it was right of Bonnie to try and force her into it.
Lemanuel just got worse and worse, then we found out our aunt Bambie would allow us to stay in her house until we left for Mississippi, so we left for Bambie's one day while Lemanuel was out with Bonnie's husband Blair. We just packed up and went.
We weren't even at Bambie's house for a day when we realized staying there wasn't going to be easy. There was no food (to this day we have no idea if Bambie even eats), so we were buying our own food, which was fine, then we found out Bambie was going to the grand canyon with her husband, his son, and leaving us in the house alone with these crazy people that were staying with her, and her alzheimers patient father in law.
I hate to complain, because I know it's a lot for someone to let you stay in their house for free. I appreciate it. But why did we keep ending up with the craziest of the crazies? Again, Jody came through, she got us a hotel room until the 14th. All through this, Lemanuel was trying to get back to Kayla, she told him if he really cared about her he'd let her have some space, but he got a bus ticket (That Bonnie and Blair paid for...) back to Hattiesburg because, as he said, he needed to be there for his family (Kayla and Jabari). By that time she was completely through with him, and she'd told him over and over that it was over between them, and if he wanted to be back in Mississippi too, then fine, just leave her alone.
Wow, my hands hurt from typing.... So yeah, on the 13th, I found out Tyler's mother was in the hospital, she'd strangled herself with a cord and stopped breathing... and on the 14th I had to fly back here worrying about him and his mom and hoping everything would be okay.
We got back here and things just got worse for Tyler's mother, she died a couple days later. Was horrible.
My birthday was the 22nd, and Tyler sent me a beautiful necklace with a pendant that means "soulmate" (he bought himself one exactly like it), and he sent me an artifical rose, because he knows I love roses and like our love, he said, it will never die. He also sent me a glass painting he did for me, and Stardust on dvd, because we watched it together and I told him I wanted it.. also he sent a box of English chocolates... and he's ruined me for American chocolate..
So I've been trying to help him through losing his mother, he keeps asking when the pain starts fading, so I keep trying to think back to losing my dad and I just can't remember... I also didn't have him when I lost my dad... so it's just so hard to say. I wish I could just BE there, but immigration has to be completely stupid...
Things have been such a roller coaster this year... the years just keep coming and going... I want to pause time and fix everything for everybody but I can't, and I don't know what to do..
Who knows what 2010 will have in store... all I know is it involves Aliens... I can't wait.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Long Time No Post
So I realized I haven't posted an update in about 30 days. I'm sorry about that. I've been buy job hunting!! Still with no luck.
Been sleeping a lot lately and I am unsure as to why. Been feeling kind of cut off from the world... sometimes the days feel like dreams, and the dreams feel like days. It's very bizarre.
I'm even having trouble trying to figure out what to write... well... I tried to update! Hahaha....
I hope you're all doing well =]
Been sleeping a lot lately and I am unsure as to why. Been feeling kind of cut off from the world... sometimes the days feel like dreams, and the dreams feel like days. It's very bizarre.
I'm even having trouble trying to figure out what to write... well... I tried to update! Hahaha....
I hope you're all doing well =]
Friday, January 30, 2009
Flu Season on Steroids
So it's been a while.. I'm sorry. All of us here.. and I mean all of us, have been ill with the flu. It's like it's on steroids this season. Then there's me with my cracked immune system. It hasn't been much fun at all.
Kayla and I have both been looking for jobs, and her son Jabari was diagnosed with a double ear infection the other day when he saw the doctor. That poor kid.
On a lighter note, things aren't all bad. I am about to file my tax return... and then I am going to hopefully get a job, and I will get to England in November... I've become determined. Tyler has arranged to move out of his parent's house, finally... he'll be making the official move on Wednesday. I'm so happy for him, he's needed away from his parents for years.
My head's been kinda foggy with all this flu bug going around, so I don't really know what to write... been sleeping a lot, and I was going into hot and cold flashes today... hopefully I'll get over it soon, as well as everyone else here.
Kayla and I have been running around Hattiesburg nonstop for a long time to find this certain yarn... I am making a scarf for Tyler, and I want to send it to him for Valentine's Day, I started it, and ran out of yarn, so off we went on a quest to find it.. the store I originally got it from was fresh out, so we went to every possible store we could go to to find this certain yarn... leave it to me to pick out the most impossible to find yarn in town. We even went to a yarn specialty store in another town.. they didn't have it either. It's ridiculous!! So we went back to the orignal store today and they had 4 bundles of it, so I grabbed all 4. I wasn't gonna get stuck on it again, considering February is fast approaching.
Fun adventures!!!
Hopefully I'll be over this bug soon and able to type out a decent post... Until then...
Stay classy, San Diego!
Kayla and I have both been looking for jobs, and her son Jabari was diagnosed with a double ear infection the other day when he saw the doctor. That poor kid.
On a lighter note, things aren't all bad. I am about to file my tax return... and then I am going to hopefully get a job, and I will get to England in November... I've become determined. Tyler has arranged to move out of his parent's house, finally... he'll be making the official move on Wednesday. I'm so happy for him, he's needed away from his parents for years.
My head's been kinda foggy with all this flu bug going around, so I don't really know what to write... been sleeping a lot, and I was going into hot and cold flashes today... hopefully I'll get over it soon, as well as everyone else here.
Kayla and I have been running around Hattiesburg nonstop for a long time to find this certain yarn... I am making a scarf for Tyler, and I want to send it to him for Valentine's Day, I started it, and ran out of yarn, so off we went on a quest to find it.. the store I originally got it from was fresh out, so we went to every possible store we could go to to find this certain yarn... leave it to me to pick out the most impossible to find yarn in town. We even went to a yarn specialty store in another town.. they didn't have it either. It's ridiculous!! So we went back to the orignal store today and they had 4 bundles of it, so I grabbed all 4. I wasn't gonna get stuck on it again, considering February is fast approaching.
Fun adventures!!!
Hopefully I'll be over this bug soon and able to type out a decent post... Until then...
Stay classy, San Diego!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Looking Forward to 2009
So another year has come and gone. It seems like the grown-ups were always right when I was a kid... the years do fly by a lot faster as you get older. I hate to imagine how fast they'll be going 10 years from now!!
Last year held alot of 'adventures' for me... from a complete mental breakdown, to almost going homeless, (which I didn't, thankful for the family I have =]) to finding who I'm 99.9999999% sure is my soul mate, to moving across the country. It's been quite a year.
As many bad things happened to me in 2008... I'll never want to forget it because the good things that happened to me outweigh the bad, by far. I've been given a chance to start over, and I've been given some wonderful people to start over with. Of course I will never ever forget the people I know that have stuck by me through everything.
It's true, that line from the movie "Hitch"... "Life isn't how many breaths you take.. but the moments that take your breath away."
The faster the years go by, the shorter I realize life really is, and the more I want to live it. I've had a few people tell me that going to England to spend the Holidays with Tyler this year probably isn't a good idea... and they have good reason to worry, but how am I to know if I don't take a chance? I mean... sure... something bad COULD happen... but if I don't take that risk.. I could miss out on the best experience of my life.
I've had some truly great people in and out of my life, and I'll never forget anything. Even the bad things that have happened to me have pointed me in the direction to where I am now, and I couldn't wish for anything better.
“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” ~Mark Twain
Last year held alot of 'adventures' for me... from a complete mental breakdown, to almost going homeless, (which I didn't, thankful for the family I have =]) to finding who I'm 99.9999999% sure is my soul mate, to moving across the country. It's been quite a year.
As many bad things happened to me in 2008... I'll never want to forget it because the good things that happened to me outweigh the bad, by far. I've been given a chance to start over, and I've been given some wonderful people to start over with. Of course I will never ever forget the people I know that have stuck by me through everything.
It's true, that line from the movie "Hitch"... "Life isn't how many breaths you take.. but the moments that take your breath away."
The faster the years go by, the shorter I realize life really is, and the more I want to live it. I've had a few people tell me that going to England to spend the Holidays with Tyler this year probably isn't a good idea... and they have good reason to worry, but how am I to know if I don't take a chance? I mean... sure... something bad COULD happen... but if I don't take that risk.. I could miss out on the best experience of my life.
I've had some truly great people in and out of my life, and I'll never forget anything. Even the bad things that have happened to me have pointed me in the direction to where I am now, and I couldn't wish for anything better.
“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” ~Mark Twain
Monday, December 22, 2008
Christmas around the Corner
With Christmas so close, I'm now looking back on the past year and thinking of everything that's happened. I think I've had a more eventful year than ever before. I was kicked out of an apartment, lied about by my former landlord, found the love of my life, AND moved across the country.
Phew... even just typing all that out made me lose my breath!! It's amazing how much can change... I was actually really depressed a few months ago, and now I'm happier than I've ever been before! The years can only get better. I'm looking forward to ringing in the new year with everyone here (Jody, Kayla, Jabari, Jacob and Randy) and of course with Tyler, even though his new year will come six hours before mine.
I'm loving every moment of life, and I can't wait for it to go on. Tyler and I have been discussing it, and we've determined that if we both save up this year, and work for it, I'll be able to go there, and spend the Holidays with him next year.. Originally he had said he wanted to come here... but he's had a um... history, and he's worried about being sent away by the USA customs, because he's read up on it, and neither of us know if he'd actually be allowed into the country, so we changed it around. I'm SO excited!!!
I've always known, but I'm learning more and more that every moment of life is precious and beautiful, even if it doesn't seem so at the time. Once you get out of the rough spots, you can look back and see what beautiful things have formed from something not so beautiful.
Example: I was in a horrible situation in Salt Lake.. I didn't really have anywhere to go, I mean I had people willing to help, but no one that really could, and I understand that, I just really didn't have anywhere to go, and I was coping with being single, I mean I wasn't LOOKING for someone to share my life with... and almost all at once I found the one person who was meant for me, and I moved here to Mississippi to stay with a family that I've always loved spending time with... I just can't seem to get over how it all happened.
I think I'll always have down moments, but I know for a fact that I am extremely lucky to have my life start falling together from the shambles it was in at such a young age as 23.
Oh and what else? It was the most bizarre thing.. a few days ago I felt ill, like I was coming down with a bug or something. I was in bed all day, my head felt foggy, my throat hurt... and none of it made any sense. Maybe I was getting sick, but I didn't think so. Then Tyler sent me a text message saying he felt horrible and had been in bed all day with a cold, then it clicked! I was feeling it with him... we've done that before, it's so bizarre but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Jabari, Kayla's son will turn one year old on Wednesday, and we've got a cake for him and everything. I was thinking the other day about when he gets older, people will probably often try to give him one gift and say "Oh, your birthday is the day before Christmas, so I thought I'd just get one gift and call it done..." maybe he'll be fine with that when he's an adult, but for a kid? That's gotta be just terrible... plus he doesn't get to space out his birthday from Christmas... hahaha I'm sure he'll cope.
I'm also looking forward to spending Christmas here with these people, it's going to be so much fun!!!
Here's wishing all of my lovely followers a very Merry Christmas, and an extremely wonderfully Happy New Year!!!
<33
Phew... even just typing all that out made me lose my breath!! It's amazing how much can change... I was actually really depressed a few months ago, and now I'm happier than I've ever been before! The years can only get better. I'm looking forward to ringing in the new year with everyone here (Jody, Kayla, Jabari, Jacob and Randy) and of course with Tyler, even though his new year will come six hours before mine.
I'm loving every moment of life, and I can't wait for it to go on. Tyler and I have been discussing it, and we've determined that if we both save up this year, and work for it, I'll be able to go there, and spend the Holidays with him next year.. Originally he had said he wanted to come here... but he's had a um... history, and he's worried about being sent away by the USA customs, because he's read up on it, and neither of us know if he'd actually be allowed into the country, so we changed it around. I'm SO excited!!!
I've always known, but I'm learning more and more that every moment of life is precious and beautiful, even if it doesn't seem so at the time. Once you get out of the rough spots, you can look back and see what beautiful things have formed from something not so beautiful.
Example: I was in a horrible situation in Salt Lake.. I didn't really have anywhere to go, I mean I had people willing to help, but no one that really could, and I understand that, I just really didn't have anywhere to go, and I was coping with being single, I mean I wasn't LOOKING for someone to share my life with... and almost all at once I found the one person who was meant for me, and I moved here to Mississippi to stay with a family that I've always loved spending time with... I just can't seem to get over how it all happened.
I think I'll always have down moments, but I know for a fact that I am extremely lucky to have my life start falling together from the shambles it was in at such a young age as 23.
Oh and what else? It was the most bizarre thing.. a few days ago I felt ill, like I was coming down with a bug or something. I was in bed all day, my head felt foggy, my throat hurt... and none of it made any sense. Maybe I was getting sick, but I didn't think so. Then Tyler sent me a text message saying he felt horrible and had been in bed all day with a cold, then it clicked! I was feeling it with him... we've done that before, it's so bizarre but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Jabari, Kayla's son will turn one year old on Wednesday, and we've got a cake for him and everything. I was thinking the other day about when he gets older, people will probably often try to give him one gift and say "Oh, your birthday is the day before Christmas, so I thought I'd just get one gift and call it done..." maybe he'll be fine with that when he's an adult, but for a kid? That's gotta be just terrible... plus he doesn't get to space out his birthday from Christmas... hahaha I'm sure he'll cope.
I'm also looking forward to spending Christmas here with these people, it's going to be so much fun!!!
Here's wishing all of my lovely followers a very Merry Christmas, and an extremely wonderfully Happy New Year!!!
<33
Monday, December 15, 2008
Chaos!!
Yeah so it's been a while since my last update! Sorry!!! Anywho... Our Thanksgiving was great, it was my aunt Jody's birthday so we celebrated that on the same day. There's been a lot of chaos here, but what kind boring life would there be without a good amount of chaos? A very boring one.. hahaha.
I'm getting set up with a Rheumatologist here in Mississippi, and I went to see an Ear Nose and Throat specialist today, but there was a problem with my insurance so I couldn't finish. That was fun... NOT! Although, they did vacuum the ear wax out of my left ear with a little vacuum made especially for ears... that felt so weird, and my ears are so overly ticklish... rather uncomfortable. Not to mention, the insurance person at that clinic was very rude to me, she was treating me like I was trying to cheat them or something. I was highly offended... I don't really want to go back, the doctor I saw even agreed that there was no real point in me going back because he couldn't see any problems with my ears, nose or throat.
Right now I'm sitting in the living room with my cousin Kayla, and she's playing music videos on the tv for her son Jabari so he'll settle down and go to sleep. He's in love with Brandy... we have the video to her new song Departed, and he stares at it. We keep saying that Brandy is my cousin's future daughter-in-law. It's fun.
It snowed here last Thursday. It never snows here in December... they all say I brought it because I came here from Utah. Yeah... apparently it's my fault... I even told Tyler it was snowing and his words were "Oh... well done!" hahaha. He's so funny. We got to rush around in the snow, wich was only about an inch, if that, and everyone here was freaking out because it was SNOW so all the businesses were closed, even my cousin Jacob who is autistic had to have his doctor appointment cancelled because the clinic was closed, and he had to go 24 hours without one of his most important medications... that was especially FUN!
I found out that the people here in the south are usually really nice, until it starts snowing and getting cold. I found that out on Thursday, because I went into a mail-it shop to send Tyler his Christmas present, and the lady in there, as soon as I opened the door and went to go inside, she said "We're CLOSED!!!" very rude-like... so we went to the post office, and I picked up a customs form, because it's being shipped overseas, and I asked the lady there if I had to write what was inside in detail because I knew it would be stuck on the outside of the box and I wanted to try and let it be a surprise for him. The woman was very rude to me she said "There's NO Surprises!!!" so I said "Okay so it's gonna stay on ther--" so she cut me off again an said "I said NO SURPRISES!!" so I blinked a few times and just went on to ask "So it'll get there by Christmas, right?" and all she said to that was "Yes! 10 Days!!!" so I just stood there in shock that she was being so unbelievebly rude, and said "All right, I just asked because the website said today was the last day for the United Kingdo--" and again, she cut me off, "10 DAYS!!!!"
Amazing really... me and Kayla and Jody have taken to saying "10 DAYS!!!" as a kind of inside joke.... I simply told Tyler not to look at the green thing when he gets his "Christmas Card"... because he still has no idea I'm sending more than a Card... he seemed confused, but agreed to avoid looking at the green thing. He's so sweet I know he'll actually try really hard to not look at it... aww...
Anyway... now that I've let that all out I suppose I'll let you people get back to your lives... HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!! Much love to you all!!!
I'm getting set up with a Rheumatologist here in Mississippi, and I went to see an Ear Nose and Throat specialist today, but there was a problem with my insurance so I couldn't finish. That was fun... NOT! Although, they did vacuum the ear wax out of my left ear with a little vacuum made especially for ears... that felt so weird, and my ears are so overly ticklish... rather uncomfortable. Not to mention, the insurance person at that clinic was very rude to me, she was treating me like I was trying to cheat them or something. I was highly offended... I don't really want to go back, the doctor I saw even agreed that there was no real point in me going back because he couldn't see any problems with my ears, nose or throat.
Right now I'm sitting in the living room with my cousin Kayla, and she's playing music videos on the tv for her son Jabari so he'll settle down and go to sleep. He's in love with Brandy... we have the video to her new song Departed, and he stares at it. We keep saying that Brandy is my cousin's future daughter-in-law. It's fun.
It snowed here last Thursday. It never snows here in December... they all say I brought it because I came here from Utah. Yeah... apparently it's my fault... I even told Tyler it was snowing and his words were "Oh... well done!" hahaha. He's so funny. We got to rush around in the snow, wich was only about an inch, if that, and everyone here was freaking out because it was SNOW so all the businesses were closed, even my cousin Jacob who is autistic had to have his doctor appointment cancelled because the clinic was closed, and he had to go 24 hours without one of his most important medications... that was especially FUN!
I found out that the people here in the south are usually really nice, until it starts snowing and getting cold. I found that out on Thursday, because I went into a mail-it shop to send Tyler his Christmas present, and the lady in there, as soon as I opened the door and went to go inside, she said "We're CLOSED!!!" very rude-like... so we went to the post office, and I picked up a customs form, because it's being shipped overseas, and I asked the lady there if I had to write what was inside in detail because I knew it would be stuck on the outside of the box and I wanted to try and let it be a surprise for him. The woman was very rude to me she said "There's NO Surprises!!!" so I said "Okay so it's gonna stay on ther--" so she cut me off again an said "I said NO SURPRISES!!" so I blinked a few times and just went on to ask "So it'll get there by Christmas, right?" and all she said to that was "Yes! 10 Days!!!" so I just stood there in shock that she was being so unbelievebly rude, and said "All right, I just asked because the website said today was the last day for the United Kingdo--" and again, she cut me off, "10 DAYS!!!!"
Amazing really... me and Kayla and Jody have taken to saying "10 DAYS!!!" as a kind of inside joke.... I simply told Tyler not to look at the green thing when he gets his "Christmas Card"... because he still has no idea I'm sending more than a Card... he seemed confused, but agreed to avoid looking at the green thing. He's so sweet I know he'll actually try really hard to not look at it... aww...
Anyway... now that I've let that all out I suppose I'll let you people get back to your lives... HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!! Much love to you all!!!
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